This is my haiku


If you follow me on Twitter (you don’t? but why?) you know how much I love haikus. This 5-7-5 syllable poem is easy and fun. So I decided to express some of my current feelings via the haiku.

This is my haiku about summer concerts. LOOK AT IT!
July Beyonce.
August Queens of the Stone Age.
Mind blown on my face.

This is my haiku about ice cream. By the way, why isn’t ice cream one word? I’ve been holding onto that question for over a decade now. Feels good to let it go. Thank you.
Ice cream is legit.
No don’t ask just give me it.
What else rhymes with it?
This is my haiku about the Colbert Report. It’s on Comedy Central. I have a thing with Comedy Central. Refer to This is about the abyss that is college.
Colbert Report’s on!
What! This s*** is a rerun.
I’m not having fun.
This is my haiku about this girl’s voice that needs to quit.
Your voice is too much.
Can you turn that thing to hush?
Yes now, in a rush.
This is my haiku about my ringtone that I think sounds like a Transformer but my friends say it sounds like death but the irony is when my phone goes off I never actually hear it and I always text people back late but it’s not on purpose because I don’t even understand the whole “text! gotta wait 5 minutes so I don’t look lame” game because I’m lame and that ain’t no secret I’m excited I got a text goodness!
My ring tone is loud.
Sounds like death riding on clouds.
I don’t hear the sound.
This is my haiku about how much I miss my car. Chicago transportation is great and all, but all this walking be making me late.
Man I miss my car.
All these places are too far.
Bums be creepin hard.
This is my haiku about allergy medication. When it comes to allergic reactions, Benadryl takes the cake.
Zyrtec, Claritin?
None of this ish be workin.
Benadryl? Token.
This is my haiku about Benadryl. It works, but it trips me out. Somewhere a pothead is clapping, but I don’t like not being in control of myself. Can’t focus on one thing, can’t walk in a straight line, can’t keep my eyes open. I can’t.
Oh no Benadryl.
I only took ONE blue pill!
Can’t tell what is real.Thank you.

This is,

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