The Not So Guy’s Girl

Someone told me I was a guy’s girl once. I decided to map it out.

PROS
Comedy Central
No pants

Too lazy to shave

Cereal breakfast lunch dinner snack I’m bored
Busta Rhymes

The Sandlot
Food
More Food

Poop
More food
10 solid non-girl chest to floor pushups
Stank Feet
Tony Hawk American Wasteland

Quentin Tarantino
Tony Hawk Underground
Tony Hawk Underground 2
Shooting trash into trash cans from across the room
Queens of the Stone Age
Making the shots of trash into the trash cans from across the room
DMX
Going to the bathroom alone
Speeding
Salad to poop – not for a meal
“Archer”
Superglue fixes everything
Gets things on the high shelf
Tape fixes everything else
Kills a spider on sight
Jason Statham
Football literate
Basketball literate
Laughs inappropriately
Doesn’t cry
Never notices if you dyed your hair
Soul Caliber
Soul Caliber II
Opens the hard to open top
Gassy in the morning

CONS
Gassy in the morning
Only watches games in social contexts – I don’t know the player are there more wings?
Food
More Food
Poop
More Food
Gets really serious during Cheerios commercials
Salad to poop – not for a meal
Too lazy to shave
Stank feet
Thinks baseball is stupid despite love of The Sandlot
Cute buttons
Unintentionally uses fancy vocabulary and drawn out, descriptive metaphors and details in stories
Oversized sweaters
Favorite movie is a musical…The Wiz
Legitimately likes the song “Supernova Girl” from Disney’s Xenon
No Halo
Enjoys singing theme songs
Sequins
No Call of Duty
Still calls “Drake” Aubrey Graham
Grandma earrings
Water with lemon
Thrifting
Believes Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time
Mini things
Greeting cards
Not a fan of Southpark but will watch amicably
Barbara Streisand
Buys books for fun
Cries once a year usually three days straight
Reads books for fun
Forever 21
Venti Iced Tazo Tea Lemonade Black Tea sweetened please Olivia no receipt thank you you too!
Words

This is,
MAB



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