Things that make me sad, in no particular order:
- Not having a dog – still
- Knowing one day I will poop myself in public – I’ve had too many close calls.
- O’Grady was canceled after just two seasons – relatedly, The-N was taken over by Teen Nick.
- Tripping up uneven sidewalks
- Making a really stupid sound after tripping up uneven sidewalks
- Shaving my legs but then wearing pants because I planned things wrong
- Wearing pants
- Showering and then realizing you do need to poop
- Not flossing
- All these likes but no comments – I’m looking at you.
- Knowing Black Don’t Crack but I still won’t look like Angela Bassett – ever.
- When my twist out ain’t poppin
- When my twist out is uncontrollably poppin
- Knowing some people ain’t never heard Chris Brown’s “Poppin” – that’s the best joint on his first album though, honestly.
- Knowing Chris Brown could do better – do better, Chris Brown. We want you to succeed.
- Student loans
- The people actually giving Igloo Australia their hard-earned coins
- Igloo Australia
- The closest outlet is some feet away and I didn’t bring the extension cord for my Mac charger
- Raising a baby boy and explaining why the world hates him
- Raising a baby girl and explaining why the world erases her
- Skinny white babies – like I’m really sorry, it’s not your fault, I hope you bake some more later.
- All this milk and no cereal
- All this cereal and no milk
- All these sauces and no food
- All this food and no sauces
- Black girls who haven’t realized they are a part of the dopest set of female presence on the planet
- The word “normal”
- “Lightly seasoned” – why did you even try in the first place? Why are you so wasteful? Why?
- All the f*ckboys who want to do better but lack all capabilities to do better – just go home.
- This list